I Am Storm III (Sestina)

Stay away, all you bring is pain.
Stay away, all you bring is pain.

I

Through the darkness of this endless abyss
Raucous silence is my only companion as I walk
Beyond cold sinuous shadows and frigid hearts
Hundreds of greedy eyes stare without looking
Thousands of tired mouths talk without saying
Millions of intimate hearts love without emotion

II

Long I weathered the wintery emotion,
Turning inward toward my own abyss.
The stars twinkle down while saying
That perhaps I should endure a longer walk
And take the time to ponder the moment, looking
Deep to find the desires of my heart of hearts.

III

But should we be listening to our hearts
While external voices play with our emotion?
Do I dare to leap without looking?
Take others words forward and jump into that abyss?
I can’t, because I know it’s into fire I walk
Dreaming of the falsehoods I know they are saying.

IV

But what’s exactly in the words they are saying?
Is it for me to believe they have just hearts?
Why is it that these ones shouldn’t walk
To the edge, brimming with the same emotion
So that they may plunge into that black abyss
While I stand there unmoved and looking?

V

But why would it be me caring or looking?
Should I be taking a stand saying
That they nor anyone else should sail into the abyss
That everyone should look deep into their hearts
For the love that they need to bear their emotion
And if must needs, we can even take their arm and walk.

VI

No, it isn’t for me to take that walk
Because it isn’t me staring without looking,
Nor am I the one spending love with emotion,
Nor do I talk to without saying,
Nor do I add one more to their black hearts,
Nor do I wish for them to seize that abyss.

VII

I live to love me irrespective of them looking and saying
That there are true emotions in their heart of hearts.
The only problem is I can’t walk away from this abyss.

I Am Storm IV

The continued story of a storm brewing from within...
The continued story of a storm brewing from within…

Sometimes I sit at the beach listening to the ocean’s whisper
And watch the tangerine coast burn away into sooty blackness
Peppered with winking stars. Ghosts of my past infect my thoughts,
And they brew a storm of memories forcing me to reflect on moments
In this abandoned and long since forgotten life that’s no longer
Graced with green meadows. It’s there, where color seems to drain
And leaves the world black and white with pale shades of
Beige, that I wonder why the great author of the book of life
Chose me to follow this path of paper-thin truths wrapped in
A tuxedo of lies. Oh, I know it’s the staple of humanity to feel
As if the crushing melancholy is all there is despite the orange
Blaze burning rich in our hearts, but how can we ignore these feelings
That are as cold and thick as yogurt? I spent so much time researching,
Spending hours and days and weeks tapping away on my computer,
But all I found was the same thing Ronnie once told me: you cannot hide
From the life you created. If that’s true, then I can never unbury myself
And escape this unreasonable ponderance. I close my eyes and try to find
Happiness, but the memories continue to grind and crunch my icy soul.
Tears leap from my eyes because even they know the darkness that lies
Within me. Before too long, the sun peeks over the horizon, and I look
At the beach where the water ebbs leaving the creamy sand to
Glisten in that early morning light. Another day gone, another night of
Torment, and another day comes. When will it all end?